themiseryguts

06:56 – I was told yesterday “well tomorrow you’ll be another year older”, I bloody well hope not. So I had to point out that I will actually be just another day older.
Thankfully birthdays are not some sort of magical time warp, they are simply the flipping over of a calendar, if your lucky, with presents.

07:27 – a fat German tosser just took ten sunbeds using four of his rooms bath towels and one hand towel. What an arsewipe. We have the last laugh however as the cleaners don’t replace your towels if they are not in the room.
I bagsy not sitting next to them for dinner tonight.

07:58 – no apple juice left, I can cope with this in it’s self but when I walk around the abandoned tables I am seeing glass after glass full of apple juice (amongst other) that the greedy shits here have poured for themselves and not even bothered to drink. It makes me sick seeing the waste here, they seem to think it’s ok as it’s “all free”.
No wonder the restaurant staff all look like they hate us. This is what they see all day, every day. Plates stuffed full by greedy bastards, going straight in the bin.

Talk about having no shame, there’s a forty-something woman in the distance wearing a Take That t-shirt. Go hang your head in the corner.

10:07 – I think I’ve just witnessed a tender moment between two people, something that I don’t think I will ever experience. And what a shame that would be. A lovely family moment where a wife passed her “butt” to her husband so he could smoke the remaining soggy end. As public displays of affection go, this one quite possibly turned my guts more than any other.

Just opposite a Spanish mother has her two sons totally naked, applying suncream to them. It wouldn’t be so bad but they are 17 and 23 years old. Ok I’m joking, they are about 3 and 7. The seven year old is surely too old to be “rudey nudey” in public, and she really should tell him not to play with it (the birds will come and peck it off…), but one thing it has confirmed, my own boy, at three years old is quite the trouser snake.
That’s enough of that. FFS woman, get them dressed.

10:46 – how long is breakfast?
That’s it decided, it seems that I was right, mr ten-sun-beds-five-towels is in fact a kraut. Am I allowed to say kraut?
They’ve convinced me that if I’m ever divorced I’m moving to Germany. Out of the four couples to show up, there are three very attractive women partnered with three very out of shape men. They don’t look particularly rich.
I just looked “kraut” up on Wikipedia and confirmed that it is derogatory. So I apologise, but they do sort of deserve it with their towel/bed policy. And now they have just claimed an eleventh.