06:03 – we were planning on doing something other than lounge by the pool today so I didn’t need to be awake early, unfortunately some “el knobheado” is setting off a hundred fireworks down at the beach. BANG. BANG. BANGBANG.
Twats.
11:03 – I think we can safely say we’ve identified the loud Scottish arseholes (got nothing against the Scottish per-se, it just happens to be fact here) that woke us all up at 12:15 last night. There’s 40th birthday banners all over their apartment.
Revenge would be sweet, thinking of sending the boy to play outside their rooms to screw with their hangovers.
13:03 – waiting for lunch at a harbour restaurant in Los Gigantes. A couple of bel-ends on Harleys just pulled up outside and stank the place out with fumes. They were clearly thinking that everyone was looking at them out of admiration of their free-spirited ways, the unfortunate truth is that we were all wondering if the stinking rowdy machine actually did make his penis appear larger at all.
The harbour beach was the place to go for topless spotting. Thong-girl was there from the hotel. She was “very naaaiiiisss” (imagine Borat accent).
Others following us from the hotel included Choc-Drop, this was the nicer of the nicknames that came up for a girl with a big beauty spot on her face, we opted for this as she seemed nice, had she been a smoker we may have stuck with “Shitstain”.
13:55 – huge fish!
15:11 – race relations are good in the islands…
19:25 – just stretching, I need to be warmed up and nimble to battle with the deep-fried-everything brigade.
20:06 – just saw Dorothy from the wizard of oz. Nice red shoes. Silly silly fashion decision. Liked the White dress though.
In other mistakes, the woman wearing the industrial strength bra should have worm a different dress, straps outside of dress.
21:20 – in one ear I have bingo, in the other I’ve got mini-disco. Entertainment bliss. Is suicide less painful? Suppose it depends on the chosen method.
21:59 – I’m stood on a wall, my beer glass is empty and I’m watching some sort of Spanish dancing whilst the other uncultured swines are watching some low quality comedy show. If I look really closely I can see the dancers boobs. No bra. Quality entertainment.
themiseryguts 