Posts Tagged ‘Last day’

Tenerife holiday – day fourteen, going home

Posted: July 15, 2011 in holidays
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09:11 – last pancake breakfast inside and we are now on the bus. A tearful teenage gay-boy sits opposite in his plimsoles and MC Hammer trousers (odd). I don’t suppose his parents realise, even with the clue of another teenage boy crying outside the bus waving camply.

The scrum will be on at the airport, so long as we have seats together and space for the trunkies in the overhead compartment I won’t be too miserable.

21:27 – A summary update:

  • No flight delays
  • Airport food over-priced, conning Spanish bastards
  • Stupid rules regarding weight of suitcase requiring re-packing in departures
  • Got on plane 4th in line, plenty of room for trunkies
  • Pilot was surely a junior, dodgy take off and landing
  • Drive home stuck in traffic, had to put up with “are we there yet” style comments from the kids
  • Arrived home, found back garden dug up by JCB (less progress than expected) and front garden with new bright orange fence (unexpected).
  • Happiness to be home somewhat ruined by boy throwing water all over the bathroom in true return to form.
  • Weather shite, wish I was back with the troughing chavs in the lovely weather.

Time for bed soon, lets just get the kids off first, I’m knackered now.

 

Tenerife holiday – day thirteen

Posted: July 14, 2011 in holidays
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07:09 – it’s my last towel run. It’s always going to be a little bit of a downer on the last day of a holiday, but most of us will be glad to get home now and make our own food and even clean our own bogs (my wife may not agree with this one and would even challenge me on the last time I cleaned a toilet).
We will be leaving behind sun, (black) sand and Sandra (all the fat chavs are called Sandra) to go back to work, work and more work. So it does kind if suck.

On the positive side there is theBritish weather to think of. Ok, maybe not. But my waistline will have time to recover as my tan fades taking my newly enhanced looks with it (it’s true, everyone looks better with a tan, except David Dickinson, your orange mate).

Anyway, I’ve only taken two sunbeds today, the kids will be at Shrek’s swamp party this morning, we will be packing, then it’s lunch, soft-play (an out-doors version before you get all worked up) and finally, the pool.

It’s surprising just how many women come out in their pyjamas to sort out their baking trays for the day. Is putting on yesterday’s shorts and top that difficult?

People all around me are now re-arranging the poolside, the sound of plastic scraping on marble (I think it’s marble, just not the shiny sort) isn’t something to miss, though I could record it and use it as my ringtone. I’ve heard worse.

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The kids will be most annoyed that their game of “golf” has been ruined.

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10:34 – I’m stuffed, roll me away please. I ate six pancakes with banana, chocolate sauce and cream today and I did it out of spite. I wanted less but after being forced to queue (twice) and being queue jumped and to top it all off, having to suffer a German bloke using his wife as a beach towel to keep his place in the line, well, I was feeling vindictive.

11:11 – I can see a ginger guy who I shall name Russ Abbott. He looks just like him. That takes me back a bit.